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Got shot yesterday, fell off my horse
Got up and did it again, of course
I’m a professional, it’s all okay
Go ahead and shoot me in the chest all day

You can’t hurt
The Stunt Man
You can’t lay a finger on
A guy who knows how to fake his falls
A guy who likes driving Chevys into walls
A guy who takes chances
In the worst of circumstances
Sorry if I’m too blunt
But you can’t hurt The Stunt Man

Punched in the face and landed on my ass
Thrown through a window in a spray of glass
First in the water when Titanic sank
Getting clobbered all the way to the bank

(repeat chorus)

(musical break)

So you think I’ll cry in my beer,
You’ve got a thing or two to learn
You think you’ll put me through hell
It’s no deposit, no return

I’ve got a certain reputation
I’m stain-resistant and I’m water-tight
Caught in the middle of a conflagration
You were the one who let the spark ignite
But I’m the one who’s all right

Leave when you want to, go on, slam the door
Tell me your boyfriend has two inches more
Tell me you’re happier with what you’re getting
Send me an invitation to the wedding

(new chorus)
You can’t hurt
The Stunt Man
You can’t harm a whisker on
A guy who zips up his broken heart
A guy whose life is always blowing apart
A guy whose romances
Always end in bitter glances
Be as rough as you want
But you can’t hurt The Stunt Man

Written for a collaboration competition, where the assignment was to write a lyric based on a movie title. I whipped this off. Unfortunately, the musician didn’t follow through and I’ve got this lyric sitting around. Good headbanger piece.

crumpled paper