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Once upon a time my life was an awful mess
Got up on my feet and over the sauce
Now I’m far away as I can be from success
More or less
That’s my loss

I’m on the rocks
And I’m slipping fast
The wreckage from my life careening past
I’m on the rocks
And I’m out of luck
Looks like Mr. Misery has struck
Keep my tab a-going, keep my goblet filled
I can’t raise my spirits unless they are distilled
There’s no use in crying when the milk’s already spilled
I’m not home if Mr. Sorrow knocks
I’m on the rocks


Once upon a time I thought I ran off the rails
Took a break and taught myself how to steer
Everybody else is searching for holy grails
Happy trails
I’ll sit here

I’m on the rocks
And I’m up a creek
Lost my nerve and things are looking bleak
I’m on the rocks
And I’m headed south
Honey, bless my soul and hush my mouth
Pour me out a vodka, set me up a rye
Here’s a toast to nothing, here’s mud in your eye
Rather drown my sorrows, sick of being dry
I’m the guy who Mr. Lucky mocks
I’m on the rocks

(musical bridge)

I’m on the rocks
Barely holding on
Hope is fading, strength is nearly gone
I’m on the rocks
And in the drink
Havea little snort and watch me sink
Slow on the vermouth, friend, faster on the gin
Loosen up my lips, boy, listen where I’ve been
Followed by the furies, calling out my sin
Like they were the hounds and me the fox
I’m on the rocks

This is a rollicking little number. I copied the rhyme scheme and structure for the verses from a Stephen Sondheim lyric, because it was so eccentric -- just wanted to play with it.

crumpled paper