THE FIRST DAY (2005)

I get my coffee from the sidewalk vendor
He looks concerned, asks if I’m all right
I hear words that sound foreign and tender
I’m so used to hearing sarcasm and spite
It’s the first day since the night you left

My mailbox full of routine demands
Enough to make the morning go fast
I put my face down in my hands
I look up and two hours have passed
It’s the first day since the night you left

I’m sinking in time
I’m walking in space
I’m falling in line
I’m running in place

It hurts to breathe
It aches when I think
I stare at the trees
And barely blink

I hope you’re OK, but really don’t care
I hope that you’ll call, but I won’t hear the phone
I hope that you know that you haven’t a prayer
Of feeling a love only I have known


I’m riding the train
I’m dabbing my eyes
I’m crossing the lake
I’m listing your lies

I’m hot and flushed
I’m cold and numb
The window shuts
But the night will come

I open the door, and my lungs stop working
I answer the phone but it doesn’t ring
In every room there’s a shadow lurking
In every movement a sudden sting
It’s the first day since the night you left