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LUV SUX (2006)

Thank you, thank you for taking my call
I really love your show but now I’ve hit the wall
I’ll work him for an hour till my jaw gets sore
I give it all I’ve got but I can’t make him roar

Later when I hold him, he’ll always say
He’ll marry the first girl who can blow him – away
Give me some feedback, teach me a technique
Help out to get out of this losing streak


Dr. Luv, Dr. Luv
What are the effects?
Is it sex for luv
Or is it luv for sex?

Dr. Luv Dr. Luv
Please tell me what –
Give him what he wants
Or keep my big mouth shut?

Dr. Luv I’ll do anything you say
I’ll work that all-day sucker till I get TMJ
I’ll charm the snake, I’ll ring Big Ben
I’ll choke that bishop till he sings “Amen”

O, Dr. Luv, I’m so confused
Is it true luv or am I being used?
Am I dating one more in a line of bums
(Or should I) get down on my knees and take what comes?

(repeat chorus)

Dr. Luv…etc.


Maybe I’ll pass his test
Maybe he’ll be impressed
Or, Dr. Luv,
Is he just fooling?
Is the romance cooling?
Give me a ruling!

Written by request for a composer who’s working on it. The song, when composed, is going to be entitled "Dr. M. Luv" (for Monkey Love). She read transcripts of a radio call-in show and wanted a song about, well, you can read for yourself; and she wanted a heavy funk feel to it.

I don’t think I would have chosen this subject on my own, but I was happy to oblige.

crumpled paper